How to Grow a Child

Mother’s day and father’s day are a time for children to tell their parents how much they appreciate and love them by doing something special, including getting them the right gift. The question my children would always ask me was, “What would you like for a gift dad.” My answer was, and is, invariably, “Whatever you would like to create for me.”

I never minimized the pleasure of receiving any gift from my daughters, whether it was store bought or made by their own hands, and I always let them know how much I appreciated the gift from them.  However they knew what I really loved was when they created something for me; that always had a special value for me, and I truly cherish every one of those gifts.

The first time I received a gift created for me by my children, was when Dhyana (my first child) created the drawing you see in this blog. Dhyana, was two years old when she drew the picture of me. At first it was hard to believe that a two year old child could draw something of such maturity and quality, but when my wife told me that Dhyana did that all by herself (my wife only wrote what Dhyana [known as Charlene at the time] asked her to write), I was truly astonished, proud and filled with joy that my daughter would create this for me, on her own volition.

My wife and I have received many other gifts created by our daughters, including three songs found on the howtogrowachild website. Maari, my youngest daughter, wrote and performed a song titled Be Who I am for my birthday three years ago (she had the concept for the song and co-wrote it with a friend Carrie Putterman), and this year Maari created and performed a rap song for my birthday - Bernie, Bernie. Kali, my middle daughter created a song I am a Reflection of You that she wrote for my wife and I.

One father’s day a couple of years ago Kali had an idea for a gift that will always have a very special meaning to me. There was a beautiful black and white picture book titled, Fathers and Daughters – In Their Own Words. Each father in the book wrote how he felt about his daughter(s), and the daughter(s) shared their thoughts about their father. The essays were accompanied by a beautiful black and white photo of the father and daughter(s).

Kali, Dhyana and Maari gave me the book for a gift and I was very touched by it. As I was reading it I came to four pages Kali had added, that looked as if they were a part of the book. I first saw the photo of me and my daughters and I said, “What the &^%*&^ how did that get in there?” When I turned the page I saw what my daughters had written about my being their dad, and then read what I wrote about my feelings for each of my daughters (Kali had previously asked me to write how I felt about each of them, but wouldn’t tell me why).

When I saw what my daughters had created for me, it was one of the most surprising, touching, memorable and prideful moments I have had as a dad. Every time I look at or think about the book I rekindle that moment I first read it – a VERY special moment.

What are the gifts you most cherish from your children, gifts that were truly from their heart, and a reflection of their love for you? What are the gifts you created for your children to show them your real love for them?

May the very best be the very worst you know!